Ok, this one goes a little deep but let’s get into your mind. When thoughts come into your mind- are you the thoughts, or are you the one thinking about the thoughts. Are you the creative energy creating the thoughts, or are you the observer of the thoughts that just reacts to them? It’s a little like the chicken or the egg question of which came first. Clearly we must be both, but can the conscious observer side learn to control what seems to be the unconscious random thought generator side?
I was asked by someone how to deal with negative self-talk. So where do all the negative thoughts that come into our mind come from? Is it our deep-seated belief that we will never be good enough? Is it our ego? Is it the echo of society’s limited thinking that keeps haunting us? Does it happen to everyone? Well, as far as I can tell, everyone has negative thoughts at least sometimes. I think we can control them to some extent by finding more peace with ourselves as we are now and accepting that just because you might have the thought, it doesn’t make it true.
So the negative self-talk comes from listening to those limiting thoughts. We repeat it to ourselves from the conscious side of our mind. For those stuck in a cycle of repetitive negative self-talk it can even begin to manifest into reality. I wrote in an earlier post about the power of the mantra, I am enough, because one of the repetitive thoughts that we pick up and end up believing is that we will never be enough. I’m not rich enough. I’m not thin enough. I’m not worthy of love. I’m never going to be successful. It shows up for each of us in some way, but those who successfully overcome it are the people who can learn to hear the limiting thought and quickly counter it with their conscious thought of I am enough.
It takes a lot of practice as it does not come to us naturally. We’ve gotten used to listening to those thoughts that pop into our mind because they are always there. It’s like a radio you can never turn off; you can turn down the volume or better yet find a way to change the station to a song you like better. Think of societal standards and limitations as the annoying ads that keep popping up on this radio station telling you what you need or what you should do to meet some falsely created standard that makes others more money through your upset. Those who learn to be authentic to themselves and listen to the songs that make them happy get that way by changing the channel each time the ad pops up. Society can try to tell you to be a size 2, but if you feel healthy in a size 10 and learn to accept your body as it is, then you have blocked out those ads trying to sell you some new diet fad. They stop being relevant to you, so you are less likely to pay attention to them or see them for what they are.
This radio station in your mind works a little like Spotify. If you constantly listen to the sad songs, then you’re more likely to hear them. If you choose to listen to the songs that make you happy and energize you, then you will hear more of those. So the conscious mind has the choice to find more happiness and acceptance in the here and now which will influence the songs (thoughts) that will be played in the future. So start to notice what’s playing on your radio. Is it full of ads? What’s the tone of the songs- sad, aggressive, happy, mellow, energetic? Which ones are you turning up and paying attention to? Start choosing to change the station when you hear something you don’t like. When that thought of doubt or limitation comes up, choose to acknowledge it was just a thought, and you can choose a different one, just like changing the station on your radio.
It’s going to take time to build up those play lists and tune that radio to play more of what you like. Know that it’s a process, and the more you pay attention and give it your feedback the better it will become. So you are the thoughts and the observer. By being a better observer, you will have more control over the thoughts.
Let me know if you have any luck working with your play list of thoughts this week! And as always, if you want some one-on-one work with me, please reach out!
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