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Writer's pictureColleen Altschul

Saying Goodbye

It’s so hard to say goodbye, to yesterday….. Goodbyes mean something is ending- from a quick visit to the end of a relationship, it’s usually something that a person does not look forward to. Goodbyes can mean that change is coming, and if you are like me, change can be something you fear. How can we use gratitude to make our goodbyes easier to appreciate and decrease our fear?

Let’s start with the goodbyes we control, the ones we create – leaving a job, ending a relationship, going home after vacation. These might be a little easier because they are often on our terms. Making the decision to say goodbye can be hard. These decisions may be the result of days, months, or years of contemplation. They can be joyous or painful, but they should always include a moment of gratitude. Let’s look at the example of leaving a job. Are you leaving for a better opportunity – be grateful that this job prepared you for the next one, or it got you through while you were looking for a better opportunity, or you made connections, learned new skills, made new friends, or maybe it helped you discover what you did not want to do! Are you leaving because it was not a great situation – be grateful for the lessons you learned, or the example of how not to manage people, or the challenges you overcame, the persistence you showed in the face of adversity, or maybe you are just grateful that all challenges make you stronger! When you say goodbye with gratitude, you set yourself up for positive new beginnings.

The goodbyes that can hurt or scare us more are the ones we don’t control – death, divorce, termination, losing everything to fire or natural disaster. These are all traumatic events, and most come very unexpectedly giving us little time to prepare. Our natural reaction can be one of chaos, emotional outburst, blaming, or taking on a victim mentality. Even in times of emotionally challenging goodbyes, gratitude can still be found and help ease the pain and fear that come with them. It’s ok to feel the emotions that come with these. I would never say to suppress your feelings or pretend that everything will just be ok right away. Take time to acknowledge your emotions, fears, and honestly look at what good might come. Every loss leaves room for something new to come in. Focus on what might be instead of what will never be again. Maybe that relationship wasn’t right for you, and the next one will be better than you could ever imagine. Maybe replacing your belongings will teach you to surround yourself with only things that bring you joy. Losing a loved one will make you appreciate all they taught you over the years. Don’t focus on the loss, but focus on what you have gained from your new perspective. Change is scary, but facing it with the intention of gratitude will be your first step towards success.

Many goodbyes will come about in our lives, and they can all teach us a lesson. They remind us to stop and find gratitude. It’s easy to rush through life and get wound up in emotions, but the one who can pause and choose happiness is the one who is truly enlightened.

What have you said goodbye to recently? Can you find gratitude in that situation? What happens if you look beyond the emotions it stirred and see where it guided you to now? One goodbye can lead to many new hellos; look for the good in everything.

Hi. I love you.

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